Tuesday, February 14, 2012

changing course...

It's becoming more and more clear to me that my professional life has moved in a different direction than I ever thought it would. I have always been a motivated person, but as of late, I seem to be anti-motivated, in a way. I took a masters degree  in social work policy with the hopes of working my way to the top of a system I saw as cruel, corrupt, wrong... A few years in my field later, and I could not see a more different future for myself.

When I decided to get into social work it was because of this core belief: I am only as strong as the person beside me. In other words, unless everyone is happy, there is no happiness. I still believe that to some degree. I still see myself as connected to my fellow community members. But I am not convinced that social change happens from a position of power.

I am leaning more toward a sense that good things happen when people are good and bring out the good in others. Good things happen amongst simple social interactions and connections with others. Good things happen in nature. Good things happen when people feel inspired. Good things happen when the librarian smiles at you, or when a stranger compliments your hand knit coffee cozy, or when a child at the park innocently asks you to push them on the swing... good feelings are contagious.

I no longer see myself as the CEO of a non profit organization, or sitting on the board of directors for a social service agency, or "fighting for change" in an advocacy campaign. I just don't see this as energy well spent. Not that I don't care about people anymore, but I don't have as much faith in those processes. As I see it, issues can't be pushed... they are better off being guided; disagree if you like.

These days, I see myself talking to my newly-landed neighbour about their feelings of depression and isolation. I see myself participating in my community garden and offering extra veggies to my neighbour. I see myself discussing with my children's school about the benefit of nature in their education. I see myself living by example in hopes that others will see my humble happiness and want to join in. I see myself going to work three days a week, doing my best to help out however I can, going home at the end of the day, and continuing to do my best to help however I can. That is all.

My dream is now to live a simple, humble life, free of unnecessary static and fuss. I am just not meant for any other life. I am glad that I know that about myself.

Joan Blondina


Tamara said...

Beautifully written!

Joan Blondina said...

Thank you Tamara!

Anonymous said...

Sara love reading your blog...keep writing!