Tuesday, October 19, 2010

sometimes life is really hard...

... and you have to do things that you wish you didn't. Fortunately, as many can attest to, it's the most difficult things that deliver the most rewarding outcomes.

Warren and I have made the tough decision to leave our apartment. We received an extremely generous offer to temporarily stay with family until we are ready to buy a house and take on all of the responsibilities that come with that. While I am one hundred percent certain that we are making the right choice (OK, maybe ninety nine percent) it's still really hard to pack up and move AGAIN. I thought we had left our vagabond lifestyle behind, but here I go again boxing up my beloved books and finding suitable adoptive parents for my houseplants. I have never been this sad about moving. This apartment is my safe space. It's our little nest above the treeline where we simultaneously hear the city-sounds of emergency vehicles and our neighbour who has Turret's Syndrome, and see the bushy lushness of the escarpment and feel so far away. This is the home who's safety allowed me to learn how to be a better knitter, a better cook, a better house cleaner, a better partner and a better person. I can't explain how much I have changed in the past year and a half. This little home inspires me and reminds me how happy I am. By the way that I adore this place you might think that I live in some kind of luxury unit. It's so far from luxury, with it's tiny electric stove and beige walls that have seen way to many coats of paint without a proper sanding. But we love it. It's just so "us". And now we have to leave. I am really grateful that we have an opportunity to live with family at a time when their help will be priceless, and that we will be able to get the head start on home buying that most people don't have. But I still can't help but worry that somehow things will change and I wont be able to return to my charmed little life.
This weekend we began packing and transferring things to storage, and I just couldn't handle it. Warren found me sobbing in the bathroom, overwhelmed with everything that will now only exist in memories and pictures. He left for a moment and returned with a beer for himself and a small glass which he filled with beer for me. We sat together on the edge of the bathtub and "cheers-ed" to new steps forward. The four ounces of beer went straight to my head, but I was able to calm down and gain some perspective.  Huddled together on cold white porcelain we took a few minutes to absorb the reality that sometimes things are really hard to do, and that is life, but eventually things always get better.

I was going through some photos on my hard drive and came up with these. Here's to life, and amazing memories!

{this is so amateur but I did the best I could. The song is "Cranley's Gonna Make It" by Broken Social Scene}  

Love Always,
Joan Blondina

can I share...

this inspirational blog? 

Particularly, I love this, and this, and this...

Love Always,
Joan Blondina