hit a bit of a low point…

Let me start off by saying that I still love being pregnant. Today however is a bit of a low day. I am tired. I’ve been up since 4:30am for NO REASON. I am sore. I feel like a whale. I'm just getting over a winter cold. I want my body back. I am sick of struggling to get my socks and winter boots on. I am tired of being breathless and weezie. I long for jeans with a button and a fly…. I can feel my body changing and preparing to birth this baby and it’s a lot of work.

I have sewing projects to finish, laundry to do, a baby shower blog entry to finish (or alternatively a computer to throw out the window), this on my mind, e-mails to send, thank you letters to make and a long list of things to pick up before the baby comes. All while big and pregnant.

I still have one week of work left. As much as I love my job I can’t wait until I am done. At 37w it’s hard to be efficient at pregnancy and work. My mind is frantically noting all of the things I would like to have organized YESTERDAY. It’s all just a lot to take on. I know, I’m not the first woman to be in this place. I guess this is part of the beautiful, awkward, grunting process…

I must admit, the 3rd trimester, even with this basketball belly and raging heartburn, is still much better than that first, anxious trimester. The first trimester is full of isolation and secrets (don’t tell ANYONE until you safely reach 12w!?) and confusion (should we be buying diapers NOW?) and fear (what is going ON with my body?) and nausea (WHY does EVERYTHING smell like burnt onions?) all the while not looking pregnant; just bloated and sweaty. Compared to those first few months this is nothing.

I hope you don’t mind my rant. I guess it’s just honest. Things will look up tomorrow I’m sure (or maybe the next day). Realistically no one will mind if thank you cards are late. Baby won’t mind if when he gets here I don’t have a fancy nursing bra. Things will get done. Baby will come. All will be right with the world…

Love Always,
Joan Blondina